| Schizophonic:
From NME
The myth of the survivor, the
diva, endures. The rainbow of pills and roses under the
dressing room mirror, the tear stains on satin, the perfect
performance from ruined hearts - this is the stuff of legend.
Being famous for your hair colour, a possible spat with some
other millionairesses and wearing the Union Jack - this isn't.
Here is a woman of (to be kind) dubious talent; a woman who
only exists between a red-top banner and a bold black
headline, thin as newsprint, subtle as a paparazzi shot. If
you really care about royal breasts or dead newscasters,
you'll be happy with Geri Halliwell's debut like you would be
with a cereal packet dragged from a starry Beverly Hills
trashcan. Cheap memorabilia, nothing more. If, however, you
find the whole celebrity carnival as thrilling as watching
Stereophonics watching paint dry, then this marketing ploy is
unlikely to have you waving palm leaves in the street. Of
course, you'd have to believe in leprechauns to think artistic
value was the point.
'Schizo-phonic', breaking every seduction rule of women's
magazines, is an act of pure desperation. Count the signs: the
60-piece orchestra; the Latino number; the plucky showstopper,
the maudlin ballad. It's clichid like a river of tears running
past, yes, a mountain so high, yet when you're trying to be
all things to all people, that's inevitable. 'Look At Me' says
it all, attempting to create a self-reflexive conundrum, the
knowingly blank canvas, the irony-chip Idoru. What soon
becomes clear, though, is this is a woman who probably
believes postmodernism is something to do with e-mail. Craving
adoration, but desiring respect more, that title alone
suggests she needs the world to say, "But Geri! You're so
complex!" so she can smile bravely and reveal her voyage
of self-discovery. Tedious enough from a DNA pioneer or arctic
explorer - from someone whose vocation is grimacing through
the embarrassing sex-funk of 'Bag It Up', or modelling the
ill-fitting supper-jazz gown of 'Goodnight Kiss', it's
completely unnecessary. The bizarre Kula Shaker moment of 'Let
Me Love You' even appears to flirt with bisexuality. It sounds
like it's flirting with a radiator.
Often she refers to being a "little girl" in a
"grown-up world", as if her vulnerability, her
unformed pop star psyche make her an object of fascination.
Yet great pop music has always been about dealing with the
grime and grit. Understanding the heartbreak. Soundtracking
the pain. This doesn't even give good platitude. The show must
go on, says the myth. You're not supposed to wonder why it
bothers
-
Schizophonic: From Amazon.co.uk
While hardly a masterpiece on
the order of "Say You'll Be There", the former Ginger
Spice's step into the solo arena does an acceptable job of
refashioning her into a "grownup" diva. Generally
underdeveloped material doesn't help but the thin-voiced
Halliwell acquits herself well enough on some pop-funk numbers
and when tweaking the sort of 60s high camp of which Robbie
Williams is so fond--especially on saucy single "Look At
Me". --Rickey Wright
What the Critics Say...
Rolling Stone (7/8-22, p.146) - 3 Stars (out of 5) -
"...surprising, undeniable charm. She's like a really
enthusiastic impersonator, so anxious to win you over that you
give in..."
Q Magazine (8/99, p.100) - 3 stars (out of 5) - "...it's
quite good fun. This goes for SCHIZOPHONIC as a whole....it
isn't haute cuisine, but then neither is pop music as a
whole....[It's] the kind of snack you can eat without ruining
your finer appitites."
- Scream
if you wanna go faster : From Dotmusic
Being a pop star - how hard can
it be? C'mon... it's a TV appearance here, a famous boyfriend
there. Sure you can no longer eat, or have a private life. Oh,
and one more thing, you must create songs to make the kids
either fill dance floors with their fabulous backsides or sway
slowly along to at school discos.
"Geri should stop worrying about being taken seriously as a
musician, and just take great pleasure in giving us what she
does best"
Cue everyone's favorite pop tartini Geri, with her fit,
fantastic body, soul-searching interviews and famous best
friends. Yes, she no longer wickedly fills out a Union Jack
mini-dress, but she still has apple cheeks and a cherry tomato
nose. And she still knows how to make a pop album.
Ms G co-wrote all 12 tracks and serves as the executive producer
on her latest offering. Riding high on the Number One smash
'It's Raining Men' (a note-for-note cover of The Weather Girls'
roller boogie classic), it should be smooth chart sailing for
'Scream If You Want To Go Faster'.
Not a cohesive body of work, it scampers (quite sweetly) all
over the joint. A key of icons (a heart 'for the heart', lips
for 'sexy') is included in the liner notes to help the listener
understand what the hardly Shakespearian lyrics are trying to
say.
Surprisingly, it's when Geri hangs up her dancing shoes that the
album really sparkles. 'Calling' is a bossa nova flecked ballad
celebrating the to-ing and fro-ing game that new lovers play.
While it won't make Astrud Gilberto worry, it shines with
sun-streaked melodies and bright vocals.
Tingly guitars, a Bacharach-like singing style and trumpet lilts
makes 'Circles Round The Moon' lift right off the player and
twirl around the room. The chorus of 'Love Is The Only Light' is
a textbook example of faultless pop structure. Vocals rise and
fall in perfect harmony with the refrain, resulting in smiles
all around.
'Strength Of A Woman' is a chirpy ditty about how women should
seek empowerment within themselves, and not through blokes. Nice
sentiment, but it is hard to swallow when the woman saying it
has transformed herself into what society determines as
attractive through slavish devotion to exercise and diet.
Those tracks tagged with a rollerblade icon (meaning 'to make
you move') are dance by numbers and just blend into one another,
with the slight exception of the whirling mirrorball groover
'Shake Your Bootie Cutie'.
Lyrics are not the strong point of this new baby. Most of them
are worthy of the doodles on a teenage girl's notebook, complete
with puffy hearts dotting the i's. Geri should stop worrying
about being taken seriously as a musician, and just take great
pleasure in giving us what she does best -brightly coloured
sweeties to make both your teeth and heart ache. A considerable
part of the enjoyment of the album is gained from knowing Geri
is out there doing her thing, not caring that she wears her
emotions on her sleeve.
'Scream If You Want To Go Faster' is never going to be a seminal
album to change your life and return to again and again. But it
is an album you can happily bop along to and sing along with at
the top of your lungs during a drunken night out. You can't
really ask more of a pop album than that.
Lisa Oliver
- Scream
if you wanna go faster : From Amazon.co.uk
Like her or loathe her, Geri
Halliwell can't seem to do anything quietly, which is why her
second solo album is appropriately titled Scream if you Wanna Go
Faster. Gone are the strings, breathy vocals and Diva like
aspirations of her debut Schizophonic, Geri instead settling on
a more straightforward pop approach. After the pointless
motor-engine samples of "Dragster" (bizarrely a track
on their own) she launches into "Scream if you Wanna Go
Faster", a 1960s tinged rock track. What follows is a
rather hotchpotch of style and influences that refuse to settle
into a cohesive whole. Geri serves up helpings of acoustic
ballads in "Circle Round the Moon" and "Love is
the Only Light", up-beat funk with "Shake Your Bootie
Cutie" and "Feels Like Sex". She is again
extolling the virtues of girl power in "Strength of a Woman
and even slips back into Spice Girls mode for "Don't Call
Me Baby", which sounds rather similar to her former group's
"Stop". Geri's vocal range is particularly limited but
she wisely never stretches herself. The bad apple and easily the
worst song on the album is her pointless, tacky cover of
"It's Raining Men", which manages to trample all over
the melody and subvert the innocent playful lyrics of the
original and create something rather more tawdry. Penultimate
track "Heaven and Hell (Being Geri Halliwell)" is an
enjoyable send-up of her celebrity image and a poke at tabloid
journalists but Heaven and Hell is also a fitting description of
this brave but ultimately flawed second album. --Duncan Whitlam.
- Scream
if you wanna go faster: From NME
Cataclysmically delusional
harpy, self-hating exhibitionist, shameless media manipulator -
by rights, Geri Halliwell should be as endlessly fascinating a
mad bonkers pop star as Eminem. In reality, she plumbs Jim
Belushi-esque depths of startling idiocy, and remains, for the
smart CD:UK generation, an embarrassment.
'Scream If You Wanna Go Faster', then, is the sound of Crisis
Spice arriving back in a pop climate she should have dominated
after 'Schizophonic'. Back then, there remained such a thing as
the Spice Girls, a pulsating pop entity still in control of the
pre-teens' allowances, a corporation Geri flew from with such
propulsion that she somehow managed to produce a solo album even
barmier than the two Spice records. It was moronic, psychotic
stuff, a symptom of a moronic, psychotic mind - but hey, it beat
listening to 'Northern Star'.
But then, bizarrely, Geri failed to reach the level of grasping
fame of her mate Robbie. First Mel C, then Kylie stole her
thunder, while Halliwell retreated to a self-generated
hinterland of post-fame burn-out, therapy and disturbing body
restructuring. The time away has drained her of any of the 'fuck
you, look at me, aren't I great?' attitude of her first solo
venture, where the excesses of having driven the planet's
spangliest pop juggernaut were still evident. Far too much of
this record - the ineffectual ballad 'Circles Round The Moon',
bland-out 'Strength Of A Woman', ill-advised reggae-lite farrago
'Lovey Dovey Stuff' - sounds like out-takes from the Caprice
sessions, which was never the point of Ginger.
Having spent far too long analysing her mixed-up head, what
we're offered is a breakdown record disguised as a knowingly
ironic comment on her celeb 'dilemma'. The key track is,
inevitably, 'Heaven And Hell (Being Geri Halliwell)', a
depressing example of a pop star's complete self-delusion. Over
a hysterical soundtrack of treated guitar with awful vaudeville
flourishes, she dissects the tabloid circus in typical idiot
savant fashion: "Have a drink - alcoholic/Grab a coat -
shopaholic/Grab a bite - anorexic/Intellectual? I'm
dyslexic". It is, quite possibly, the worst song ever made.
She'll never get it right, which for a while, like Sarah
Ferguson, was part of her pathetic charm. Now, she doesn't have
a clue any more. In an attempt to be a 21st-century pop Liza
Minnelli, she's bypassed the interesting stuff and gone straight
to her very own Muppets In Manhattan.
- It's
raining men : From Dotmusic
Imagine if it did really rain
men. Or women. Either way it would bloody hurt. Slightly less
painful than getting caught in a downpour of twelve stone humans
without an umbrella is Geri's watered down rendition of of the
Weather Girls' camp disco classic, as featured on the soundtrack
to Bridget Jones's Diary.
The strings swoop and stab, the Hi-NRG disco beats bounce along
with just enough oomph and the gospelly backing singers do their
bit. It's just that Geri's vocals -as sassy as she likes to
think she is- are flat and lifeless compared to the gutsy
soulful delivery of the original.
A pretty pointless exercise really, but no doubt those who
haven't heard the 1983 original will lap this up. It's a shame
really cos Geri's first post-Spice single 'Look At Me' was a
classic pop tune which promised so much.
Cyd Jaymes
- Bag it
up: From Dotmusic
The track from 'Schizophonic'
that dotmusic originally tipped as the album's biggest hit,
Geri's Brits performance did justice to this big, brassy,
'Boogie Nights' pastiche.
The most obvious disco dance floor filler of the lot, 'Bag It
Up' contains the usual tarnished girl power exclamations and
exhortations to 'the girls' that Geri clings to against all
odds. It is amazing that someone who as an artist is so
seemingly directionless still maintains such scary devotion from
her disciples - hey we've got the emails to prove it.
When she finally buries the ghost of Ginger, rather than
crimping the life out of her hair, then she may be able to
finally launch her solo career proper as a grown-up woman. That
will be a great day for Geri. At the moment we're stuck with the
oldest teenager in town doing what she used to do best - and
people buying it by the bucketload.
Still not as good as 'Boogie Nights' though.
Andy Strickland
- Lift me
up : From Dotmusic
Imagine fresh faced youngsters,
bathed in sunshine, waving at their neighbours as a smiling
woman is pulled along a breezy, but spotlessly clean pavement by
her dog while the local bus driver beeps his horn and waves and
the mean old hag across the road tuts before slamming her door
in disgust. Yes It's daytime TV opening credits land and the
opening strains of 'Lift Me Up' fit it perfectly.
Meanwhile Geri takes a deep breath and delivers a smokers'
octave, husky drawl that is pleasant, nice, lovely - all those
words they hate you using in English lessons at school. 'Lift Me
Up' won't see its chart chances harmed any by the burst of
publicity this week surrounding the biggest Ginger sex fest
since Steve Davis got it on with Bianca from Eastenders (I might
have dreamt that), so expect a huge hit.
When are they going to release 'Bag It Up' as a single
incidentally?
Andy Strickland
- Mi chico
latino : From Dotmusic
The trend for all things Latin
a la Ricky Martin continues unabated with Geri's latest offering
and considering her mum's Spanish, she's more than qualified for
her slice of the Iberian pie.
With it's echoes of Madonna's 'La Isla Bonita', 'Mi Chico
Latino' is a gentle, rolling ballad with flamenco guitars and
Geri singing in Spanish towards the end.
It's a perfect summer song and should prove to some of her
detractors - mentioning no names - that she can sing and does
have musical talent.
It's miles better than her last single, 'Look At Me', and
deserves a top five placement. Go chica!
Sarah Davis
- Scream
if you wanna go faster (Single). Dotmusic
Despite her stint as a UN
ambassador and 'social issues' TV presenter it seems that Geri
has decided that she's really just a fun-loving kid at heart.
'Scream If You Wanna Go Faster' is, in her own words, about
"the child within and the creative fun-loving person that
often gets conditioned out of us." The childlike qualities
of the song even extend to lyrics like the already classic,
"Have a nice day as Americans say."
So, it's another day-glo smash from the Halliwell machine as
Gezza casts of the fogeyish concerns of the earnest Pop World
Leader and frolics in the skimpy attire of a re-born pop pup.
James Poletti.
- If
Only: From Amazon.co.uk
I look at myself sometimes and
think, You spoilt brat. You don't realise how lucky you are. I'm
just trying to be happy. Aren't we all?"
There are few things more rewarding than being able to prove
your doubters wrong, and with her autobiography former Spice
Girl Geri Halliwell obviously feels that she has silenced a few
of those who believed she was simply a loud-mouthed young girl
who struck it lucky.
Written in a first-person narrative, the result is a
surprisingly engaging and enjoyable read as Geri recounts the
events that shaped her formative years. The celebrity whirlwind
that her life has become may seem like a heady dream for most of
us, but her early days will ring a familiar tone with many. She
didn't come from a rich family and would while away hours
singing along to Madonna songs in the mirror. These early
chapters reinforce the "little girl lost" image Geri
seems so desperate for you to buy into throughout the book, but
her relationship with her father, a man who encouraged her to
chase her dreams, is genuinely touching.
Those expecting a bitching session will be disappointed--Geri
pours praise on her former bandmates whenever possible, making
some of their comments since her departure seem more than a
little harsh but perhaps that is Geri just being clever. It's
clear that she still feels a great affection for the girls,
especially Mel B, who Geri bonded with right from the start.
Those early days of Spice seemed a rollercoaster of laughs and
highs, but as Girl Power reached an almost fever pitch, Geri
felt constrained and almost trapped to the point where she knew
she had to leave but didn't really know why.
Overall, this a fun and frothy "rages to riches" tale
of her sheer determination, rather than any great talent,
finding a platform to perform to the world like the little girl
who used to dance to Madonna in her bedroom. --Jonathan Weir
Book Jacket
In May 1998 a 25-year-old woman walked out of her job, and it
made world news. Geri Halliwell had left the biggest pop
phenomenon of the Nineties, the Spice Girls.
Geri had come a long way from her modest childhood in Watford.
Like many other starstruck young girls, she would dress up,
stand on the table with a hairbrush in her hand and sing along
to Madonna. She wanted to be a pop star. She wanted to marry
George Michael. She wanted to be famous. Geri had boundless
energy, plenty of cheek and she always stood apart from the
crowd. However, the road to fame is all too often a rocky one.
After leaving school she also left home, and attempted to scrape
a living through a series of dead-end jobs. Following stints as
a glamour model, various auditions for stage and screen roles,
and a taste of celebrity--as a game-show hostess in Turkey--Geri
responded to a curious advertisement placed in The Stage,
looking for candidates to form an all-girl band. The rest is
history.
As Ginger Spice, Geri's stage presence was formidable, her
outfits legendary. The band enjoyed a succession of number one
hits, two phenomenally successful albums and a box office hit
movie. But Geri wanted her feet back on the ground. It was time
to go, to find out who she was when she wasn't Ginger Spice.
Geri is now focusing on building a successful solo career. Over
the last year she has also been working on behalf of the UN,
Breast Cancer Care and Comic Relief.
Geri's autobiography is funny, frank, poignant, incisive and, in
the best sense, inspirational. At its heart, If Only is about
fame and the rollercoaster journey one girl took from believing
it would provide the answers to life's problems to her discovery
that the real solutions lie elsewhere. --This text refers to the
Hardcover edition.
Synopsis
This autobiography of Geri Halliwell is about growing up - about
choices - and the determination of a little girl to succeed
whatever the cost. It tells the truth about the early years, the
"glamour" modelling, her struggle with bulimia, the
rave scene, the Spice Girls, the success and the split..
-Geri
yoga
Geri Halliwell releases her yoga video
Ever since Geri ‘did a Geri’ she’s provided a worthy
conversation topic for girls nights out and gossip mags across
the nation. And just as public feeling reaches an all-time
‘Geri in minute pants and vest combo’ boredom low... she
gets the video out. Welcome to Geri Yoga.
Indeed, as if we needed anymore reminding, a certain Ms.
Halliwell shed a few pounds a while back and smartened up her
act a touch. And now she’s all sleek and shiny it’s only
right that she cashes in, sorry shares the secrets of her skinny
success. Geri Yoga to the rescue (because like, honest that’s
how she got this way. Daily six-mile runs and freaky diets? No,
no, no).
To cut to the chase the divine ex-Ginger (also found in the
spoken word (well if she isn’t she should be) section of
Virgin Megastores, HMV and other fine music retailers) has
streamlined her regime into an easy to follow 90-minute tape.
Devised by Geri’s personal yoga teacher, Katy Appleton this is
an excellent, general introduction to Hatha Yoga with
step-by-step explanations of the postures. It also includes an
interview with the incredible shrinking woman on the amazing
effect yoga has had on her life, self-esteem and
confidence.
Cue hundreds of girls warming up for their asanas and a
conspicuous lack of men buying it for their birds a la Cindy
Crawford’s effort – seems they liked Halliwell more when she
had tits. Never mind Gezza, you can’t win ‘em all.
Available to buy from 29th October.
Emma Howarth.
-Geri
yoga Amazon.co.uk
Geri Halliwell's transformation from Spice Girl to hip babe
owes as much to her taking up yoga--a step she shares with us in
Geri Yoga--as it does to revamping her wardrobe. Where Madonna
and Sting have led the craze in this field, Geri has decided to
show us all the yoga way. The 90-minute Geri Yoga features yoga
teacher Katy Appleton presenting two warm up sections, a core
Hatha yoga class, relaxation, along with an interview with Geri
on yoga as a lifestyle.
The entire session appears unscripted, which means it captures
the spontaneity of a lesson, yet it's presented in a slick
manner from a modern airy studio. A former dancer with the
English National Ballet, Katy Appleton's confident poise and
ease diffuses Geri the star. Appleton manages to balance her
instructions and attention between Tina (the beginner in the
sessions) and the advanced Geri, enabling viewers to see how
they can progress. Yoga aficionados will be impressed by the
precision of Appleton's teaching and horrified by Geri's inane
babbling. Unless you're a die-hard Geri fan who can forgive the
inappropriate references to calories, you'll be waiting for
Appleton to release Yoga without Geri.
On the DVD: Geri fans will lap up the extended interview, while
non Geri fans will be thankful for the isolated music score.
There is also an additional session geared to re-energising and
revitalising body and mind. --Lorna V
DVD Description
DVD Special Features
Extra Energy
Extended Geri Talks
Main soundtrack in English
Length 112 mins approx .
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